Re-socialise II.

Besides all the plans and ideas I do have and follow-up there is one central question at the moment. How can I ensure to stay in this state of happiness long-term? How do you manage to balance this feeling of freedom and independence with your everyday life? Do you need to have an everyday life at all? Will it always be the two extremes for me from now on being in a job/task and then the urge to break out and go to the other side of the scale? Is there a sustainable way to balance everything? I don’t have an answer yet. But I have the feeling already that I won’t be able to forget and just go back to the old state. The impact and change have been too strong that they could be ignored in the future. I guess awareness is one of the first steps. Being aware of where and what you want to be will help a lot to strive for it and hopefully will also make me get up and change thins if they are not the way I want them to be.

DWMG 1: Do you need an everyday life at all?

Many people asked me if it was or is difficult to “arrive” back in Germany… Partly no and partly yes I would say. It’s great to be back because there is a lot of stuff happening which I really enjoy. And it’s great to meet people I haven’t seen in a long time. Also the famous German bread is an absolute highlight! I have really missed this part.

But one thing that I find difficult to even write about but which keeps me quite busy the last days is the limited openness of a few people. I have the feeling that some people are stuck in a small box and that there is a high level of dissatisfaction with life and their surroundings. And I realised how uncomfortable I do feel around them. I have a real problem with these negative and limited attitudes. It might sound arrogant but that’s not what I mean at all! It is just the general negative reaction on any kinds of thoughts and ideas which are not considered “normal”. The first reaction and response is slightly negative, very often focused on why things don’t work, what is bad about them and a general reservations instead of a focus on the positive side and the opportunities. It’s also something I recognised in my work life many times. In German there is a great word for it: “Reichsbedenkenträger”. It basically describes someone who always sees the bad, the negative, the risks and disadvantages in something. A natural-born worrier so to say. I am sometimes missing the enthusiasm and “the sky is the limit” spirit I have experienced for such a long time now.

DWMG 2: Be happy 😉

DWMG 3: German bread is unbeatable!

Something else I noticed with a bit of distance now – Germany is pretty well organised. What a surprise 😂. But most things are regulated and organised by rules and everybody tends to always use the last little space to the border of the rules. But if you step out of the box you are judged on immediately in the best case or yelled at normally. “This is not right! You are doing it wrong! You are not allowed to do this!”. In many other parts of the world I have the feeling there is more respect and considerate behaviour without rules. The existence of rules seems to take aways the personal ability to make reasonable judgments. But maybe that’s just me…?

DWMG 4: Do too many rules take away the capability to make reasonable calls?

I still can’t help it – I catch myself smiling out of the blue enjoying the moment or my situation. I just can’t help it. Life is just great. I can do whatever I want to at the moment and investing your time in purely things you want to do is an amazing feeling. I definitely work more than in my old life at the moment. To the extend that I have to work on my balance already. But it’s purely positive “stress” at the moment. But am I back in the old habits already? Something I definitely have to keep an eye on.

Since I am frequently using public transportation again I have a new hobby. I am trying to bring a fundamental asset of the Kiwi-culture to Mainz: Greeting the bus driver and saying good-bye. I can tell you it’s such a great fun. I even have to laugh now writing these lines. Every time I do enter a bus I say “Good morning” to the bus driver and I usually do get a very surprised look but ultimately a friendly reaction. Even funnier is the reaction when I leave and say thank you… 😂 I guess it’ll take some time to change the system… I’ll keep on working on it on a daily base starting with bus line 6 🤘

DWMG 5: Sweet as, brew!

I still have a hard time articulating what has happened to me during the last days. Friends often ask me what was the most impressive or emotional moment? What’s your key-learning? I don’t know. I have the feeling to answer only one of these questions I have to share many thoughts and stories to explain.

One of the things I have realised for myself though is that there are not many things who are really eternal. Besides maybe a tattoo, having kids and maybe a couple more that I can’t think of at the moment nothing has to be eternal. Sometimes I wish I had 5 parallel lives where I could try out different things and see what the outcome would be. Maybe a family life, a pure hiking and hobo life, a career life and a couple more. And yes, it would be cool to see how you do turn out. But part of life’s beauty I think is that you don’t have these parallel lives. Therefore every decision you take has a strong meaning and impact. Because you will never be able to rewind and change it. Only because of this decisions do become difficult and meaningful To not know exactly what the consequence will be is part of the beauty – I think. But very often we tend to get paralyzed by these questions and decisions. Why? Because we know that they will have an impact and maybe change our lives. And they do. But one thing I realised is that even though taking a decision and committing to either left or right does not mean you can’t go back. You can never change the initial call. But no one stops you from either taking another turn or even just turning back. I have the feeling we are limited by social norms and pressure very often. What will others think if I have to go back? It will look like a failure. What if it also doesn’t work out if I go back? But that’s bullshit! Who cares. It’s about what makes you happy and not others. So if you don’t like it, change it! We will always benefit from trying things. Because we will learn and we will know how it feels and how it actually looks behind the corner. Only because we quit a job to try something new, we buy a house or we move somewhere doesn’t mean this is an eternal call. No. It might be connected with work and cost to change things but that’s it. I think we have to free our minds more from these restrictions which tie us down unnecessarily.

So I think to realise this gave me a lot more peace and freedom now. I don’t have the feeling by trying something now that I am locked into anything. If I like it – great. If I don’t like it, I will change it again. A decision or move is just something that will accompany you as long as you want it to. And with this mindset a lot of decisions become very easy and fun, because it’s bout trying and experiencing and not about maybe making the wrong call.

DWMG 6: Nothing is for eternity. If you don’t like it, change it!