A bit more of tension had built up during the evening. I guess we were all tense due to the challengig day yesterday, the exhaustment, the mental pressure and thoughts about the upcoming stretches. Also the one or other bilateral conflict developed and contributed. I contributed myself by getting into an alpha-male battle with one of the guys. I tried to avoid it for a while by stepping down and avoiding certain controversial topics. But I have to acknowledge that this only works to a certain point. Once a line is crossed which I consider and feel “too much” I speak up and act. I did not come out here to take up a leadership role. I have done that for most part of my life. But while I am hiking I just want to enjoy nature and my own presence. I know I am very balanced with my self. But apparently I don’t endure everything for the greater peace. Something I don’t know how and what to do with but an interesting experience which has to be digested and settle…
We had a couple miles on the PCT left before we took an easterly at Bullfrog Junction for the climb over Kearsarge pass out in Onion Valley. We were all glad to get out to get proper food and a night of rest.
I guess also due to the tension the discipline in the group with some of the agreed basic rules was more than lose… I fell through a snow bridge and ended up on the rocks underneath. Nothing bad but I still had a few cuts on my leg and knee…
I also lost my sun glasses on the way up. So I dropped my pack, went down to look for them because Inwas sure I must have lost them during my fall and told the group I would catch up. When I returned to the trail – luckily with my sun glasses – only Kaylee had waited for me. We are both fast so we started hiking fast to catch them. On the way up we ran into Simon who had lost one of his micro spikes but seemed ok and a bit further up Matthias who was struggeling on the way up. Both of them left by the rest of the group. We waited for them to catch up, I gave one of my micro spikes to Simon since my shoes had a lot better grip than his and we continued up together. We moved extremely slowly. We also had to turn back once on a snow traverse since it was to steep for some and especially for me without spikes. I was not in the mood for pictures this morning so there are only a few of this amazing stretch…
Interestingly I was not even annoyed anymore of the situation. I somehow had made peace with it and it was interesting to observe myself. My decision was clear already – the end of this social experiment was near. In Bishop. But until then I was also convinced to stick with our group commitment to not leave anyone behind and to give in to my personal urge to help the ones struggling.
The end was in sight and a few more hours would not make a huge difference anymore. But the risk of having something happening and having to feel guilty for it was nothing I was willing to take. But at the same time I knew that I did not want to continue like this. I did not come out here to lead groups, play the mountaineering guide and guide people through terrain which they are not supposed to be in. I will not refuse help for the ones in immediate danger but I will not load the responsibility for others upon me which entered something which they are not prepared for. I just want to enjoy myself and focus on nature, me and positive vibes. So I will try to be very selective with the people I hike with from now on.
we made it up to Kearsarge Pass but immediately pushed on since we were far behind and the conditions were getting worse and worse…
Bangerang had his car parked at the pass and shuttled all hikers waiting there for a ride down to the highway. When we got to Bishop everybody had already disappeared and moved into different accommodations. So Bangarang, Simon, Kaylee and I opted for one joint hotel in town. First agenda point: Food!
